The Prada lip balm. It comes in these itty-bitty “monodoses,” and why they call it that is beyond me because I’ve squeezed out at least five helpings of this stuff and there is clearly still more to be had in there. Guess “multipentadoses” isn’t that catchy. But whatever, I’ve got a bunch of them, in Tint #3, which is a brownish peach, perfect for that subtle summertime cutely disheveled just-rolled-outta-bed-from-XXX activities-with-[hottie of choice]-and-now-my-lips-are-well-moisturized-yet-not-at-all-greasy look, rendering it also perfect as a base under full-on lipstick. It’s got a slightly medicinal taste, kind of like Kiehl’s Creme De Corps (not that I’ve licked that, I’m just saying, this tastes how that smells), which isn’t too bad, and by the time you notice any flavor, it’s just about gone, and all you’re noticing is how nice your mouth feels. It just feels…perfect. I keep trying to think of how else I can describe this feeling; it’s just that it feels like how a mouth should always feel. Toss in the added sun protection, and it makes me want to make out with myself.
Normally the cost runs about $40 for eight of these .005 oz. monodose thingers. The cheap-ass use-it-or-lose-it part of me says, “Chaia. You have a drawer filled with half-used organic Rainbow Grocery coconut hemp lip balm, Bonne Bell watermelon lip balm, LUSH Eggsnog lip balm, and Oyin Handmade Kiss This lip balm*. Also, you are marginally employed, so how can you justify contemplating spending $40 ON LIP BALM? Especially when you’re not even halfway through the first tube of this stuff?”
But the sleeper magic of the Prada whispers, “No, Chaia. This…this is the sine qua non of lip balm. And you traded for it on Makeup Alley, so it was freeeeeeeeeee but for the cost of postage and a quick jaunt to the USPS. And someone, somewhere on MUA has more Prada Shielding Balm, and you certainly have more crap to swap. Mmmmmmmmmoooooooore……….freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……….Praaaaaaaaadaaaa Shieeeeeeeeeeeelding Baaaaaaaaaaaaalm…….”
Come to think of it, that’s one of the most beautiful phrases in the English language.
*also an extremely fine product, btw. Stay tuned for upcoming slobbery love rantings about Oyin.
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